Why you have the wrong system for change
The 5 layers of everything
The problem with changing your habits is not you.
The reason why you repeat the same habit for so long isn’t because you don’t want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change.
The 5 layers
Imagine everything in life in 5 layers.
With 1 being the most Inner and 5 being the most outer, from deepest layer to the surface level.
The most outer layer is your actions. Any change usually starts here.
You see bodybuilders on Instagram, you get really inspired, you go to the gym.
You’re a frustrated dude in his 20’s gets rejected by a girl so it leads you to dating advice online. You take some action and learn some lines.
You see a kid talking about how Shopify made him Gazillions of dollars in 24 hours and you take action and start one.
Nothing wrong with actions. They are just the most superficial layer, not the deepest.
The next layer is emotions. Ultimately, the only reason you taking action is to win and get emotions. You can imagine your emotions as the currency of your actions.
What’s the point of a hike?
Is it to take the actions of getting up the mountain or for the 5 minutes you’re up there and putting off your backpack?
No. It is the change of your emotional state of I did.
This transitions into the third layer, your beliefs.
Maybe it is for me possible to get my dream body and lose weight.
Maybe I am really good at picking up with girls.
Maybe It is possible for me to make my own income and quit my job.
The second layer is your stories.
That English teacher told me I was never going to study computer science in the US as a German student with bad English grades.
They’re wrong. I’m going to show them.
And if this is kept up long enough this will influence your identity.
That’s the deepest layer.
Your self-image.
I am the kind of person who can step up and talk to women.
I am the kind of person who stays in shape.
I am the kind of person who can own a business.
It starts with the action that influences emotions, beliefs, stories, and ultimately your identity.
The goal is not to run a marathon, it is to become a runner.
The goal is not to play the guitar, it is to become a musician.
The goal is not to learn the lines, it is to become a person who can talk to women.
The old way
How do most people go about change?
The old way would be to go from the outside to the inside.
What’s the problem here?
Actions require a lot of willpower. Ever heard the stat that people start with New Year’s resolutions and 80% are off by the second week of February?
What’s also interesting is that people who try the old way sometimes take action and fail and then gain the believe of:
“Oh, I’ve already tried that! That doesn’t work”
Then this thought cycles through the layers until it becomes part of your identity and works against you.
The new way
The new way goes from the inside to the outside.
When you no longer have to believe and have a self-image of yourself as an unhealthy person but as a healthy person, you will automatically start taking actions that live up to that identity.
If you identify yourself as a person who eats healthy, you want to live up to that identity.
All lasting change that sticks in your life when you trace it back to the core it’s because you changed something about your identity.
The old way can work but it is really slow.
When you look at someone who loses 100 pounds and they start to look back on their old photos of themselves, what do they say?
“Look at that photo, I’m no longer this person anymore.”
They shifted their identity and became a whole new person!
If you’re able to change your identity, you can change your whole life.
My Story
This is what happened in my own journey.
I was consuming so much content. I considered myself a person who loves to do Netflix and chill. But then I started to think about what benefits Netflix is giving.
None.
I wanted to become a person who is fit, really good at tennis and wealthy.
For living up this identity there was no room for watching Netflix.
I quit watching it one day later.
Although I had no reason to believe that I am the kind of person who is fit, who is great at tennis who is building a business, I did. I identified as this kind of person.
The actions, emotions, believes and stories all followed.
What does all of this has to do with habits?
Consistency is the highest human driver. Human beings have a hardwired need to remain consistent with the identity you set.
Create that new version of you. Shift your identity.
What does this has to do with building habits?
Use small daily habits to prove your identity.
You gain confidence in your identity and you start taking more actions because the identity is built even stronger.
“You don’t become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are the person who you say you are.”
Small wins everyday will make your identity stronger. This effect will compound over time. That’s why becoming 1% better each day for a year makes you 37x times better!
-Bendix Schroeder